Perspective, Free Will and Other Things...

It is hard to decide what to believe. I cannot run from the absolute truth, for at some point I return to a belief. If I abandon religion, then my absolute is found in something else. If the Christian God is not my god, then something else rises to his position. It might be money, or ambition, or sex, or something material. It might be emotion. It might be death. It might be murder. It might be power. Either way at some point all human beings come back to an absolute truth.

I remember a time when I was so strong in my faith. I felt like I would never doubt, never disbelieve.

Anyone can argue any point. You can argue any side of any argument. If you are good with words, then you will likely win, depending of course on your opponent. I have found people who are wonderful at describing Christianity in a persuasive way. They have a way with words which soothes your mind and makes you feel as though you would never question their words. I have also met people who fight for atheism and against Christianity. They speak with passion and zeal. They are also very persuasive and are able to swing your mind in favour of atheism. But perhaps this is only so of a weak mind. But what is there in stubbornness and refusal to question what you believe in? What value is there in refusal to look around and ask yourself, "Is this really true"?

I'm not exactly sure, even by the bible what is right for me to do in the area of questioning. At what point do I choose to just believe? When do I just run the race looking towards the goal, and when do I look around and check that I am running the right race, or even if there if a race at all?

Why have thousands of people given their lives for Christianity? Why have they sacrificed themselves to torture, pain and death, all for the sake of something which might not really be true? The answer is their belief. They believed it to be true, and therefore they found in it a worthy cause to die for. It does not take the truth to be willing to die, only an unshakeable faith that what you believe is the absolute truth. It's really going to suck if you're wrong. What if the martyrs are all wrong? What if God doesn't exist at all, and they gave their lives for nothing? What meaning is there in this?

Imagine a supreme, sovereign and saving God. He is all-knowing and holds all power. He holds the world in his hands, and creates the starts with nothing so much as a whisper. With his eyes he sees the entire human race, and all time. He cannot take risks, for he knows the outcome of every equation. He cannot fail, and his plans cannot go wrong. If God is all-knowing then it is logically impossible for him to take a risk or chance. He predestines and chooses by default. The world is according to his supreme plan and nothing else. He created us, and we cannot change his mind. Of course, sometimes it seems like we have changed his mind. There are various times in the bible in which someone has prayed, and 'changed' God's mind. But assuming that God is all-knowing, then we must assume that he knew that this person would pray. He knew the words they would use, the tone of their voice, their posture, their sin, their state of mind, the clothes they were wearing, their breathing rate, etc. He knew all this even before the world was created. He knew it before man had breathed a single breath, and yet he continued creating the world, therefore manifesting, predestining what would happen. So really, when we look at everything from the perspective of an all-knowing God, then we can never change God's mind.

It all comes back to perspective. From a certain perspective, Christianity makes complete sense, and it seems like we could never doubt it. From another perspective, God seems abhorrent and non-existent. Perspective can enable you to see God's sovereignty in human will, or instead it can lead you to see complete free will everywhere.

Free will doesn't exist. It can't. It exists only in the sense that we can choose one thing over another. For example, I can choose to drink a glass of water, or a glass or milk. But the real revelation of whether free will exists or not, is found in the question, "What makes us choose the glass of water, over the glass of milk"?

Such a simple question, and at first thought it looks to be easily answered. But think again. We make more complicated decisions than water and milk every single day. Free will is an illusion. The reason we think it exists is because it is such a strong illusion, and so apparent. But ask yourself, why do I desire anything? What is the reason for your desire?

Anyway this is a topic which goes far beyond a few rants. I am tired and need to hit up some sleep and I will return another time on another day. Good day!