God and Truth

What is truth?

Does it even exist, or can it exist?

We live in a world of post-modern thought. It is a world of continuous change, in which everyone is free for the most part to choose what they believe in. Religion, not as a law but as a faith, is questioned because it steps outside the boundaries of the physical reality. We can't see any God. We can't feel Him. At least, I know I can't and although a Christian for a number of years, I cannot honestly say I have met God. Some people say they have met him and seen him. This is a funny concept though, and often people refer to personal revelation. This idea is nothing to evidence for God. What about Mohammed's personal revelation? What about Buddha's personal revelation? Surely, not everyone is right.

'I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.' John 14:6

A verse from the Christian bible. As you can see, Christians in their faith claim an absolute God, and also that He is the only way to heaven. Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and every other faith is worthless.

If it is all personal revelation, then everyone is right? For how can one person claim his revelation is more true than another's; it is all personal. Personal is relative to the individual. Someone feels sad personally, while another feels happy. Someone is 12 and another 57. For this reason I dismiss personal revelation as evidence of God. This means testimonies and anything else of the sort. Of course, I do not doubt that personal revelations exist, I am questioning their authority on absolute truth.

It feels good to have someone pray for you. I went down the front at church a few weeks ago so someone would pray with me and I do not deny that it felt good. I felt good and loved, and with a sense of purpose and destiny. This however is so evidence of God; no evidence that he is sitting and watching us.

Christianity is so simple to defend. Christians quickly jump to defend their faith if possible. They list the reasons for it being true and factual. They argue that it is more believable than atheism. They say that it makes sense. However as soon as someone asks a question which cannot be answered, Christians will say that God works in mysterious ways. Christians will quote a verse which says that the cross is foolishness to the world. Or many simply just say faith. It takes faith to believe in it. Why? If they reason they will, but if they can't they have a verse. If its reasonable, good! If not, believe with faith. And if doubts rise and questions remain unanswered, then people are told that they must wait till the end of time to find out, or that it is the enemy (devil), or that is sin (the flesh). There is always a scapegoat.

God works in mysterious ways. How funny! Well I understand that if he was true and God existed, then he would most certainly work in ways which I would not understand and therefore mysterious. But it seems more of a thing to cling to when things cannot be explained. You cannot argue with a Christian who says that it just takes faith. Whatever argument you could formulate, they would just say faith. Or perhaps they might tell you not to attempt to understand God. Such would be folly!

I find the idea of God fascinating. I never seem to be able to exhaust him. I know God as an idea. I know that this God would be omnipotent, and omniscient. I know that he would have a plan for the world. I know that he would have a reason for creating the world. I know that nothing would surprise him. I know that nothing would change his mind, not even the prayer of a human. I know that he cannot take risks. If you disagree with me, please talk. I will clearly show you reasons for why I believe what I do of God. If any of the above is shown to be false, then I will never resolve to believe in God. If God were one unlike to the things described above, he is not God. If he does not know everything then he is God. If he does not hold all power, then he is not God. I can go on, but for now I leave it at that.

I still call myself a Christian but my faith is wavering. It is lessening. I have not met God. There are many more thing I believe of God, and if you care to discuss them with me, please talk. None of this is easy thinking, and I am not trying to persuade anyone from their faith. I do not claim that I know the truth, nor that it is close to absolute. There are thousands more thoughts running through my mind on the topic of God which someday I hope to write down. What I have written here feels small; a little tear falling.

I have been thinking this way for some time. And as I continue I am becoming less assured of God. The only thing which I feel can change me now is God himself. Only an encounter with the God of the universe could persuade me now. At least, that is what I think right now. I have no idea how God could meet me in a way which was not relative and personal to me. I cannot logically think of a way in which I could meet God and it not going beyond the rules of reasonable thought. Perhaps one day, he will meet me. Maybe western religion is weak and poor, with little passion and zeal for God. Maybe this is what I need. But I need more than an emotion. I need more than a nice feeling, and more than things to think about. I need God himself.

In the bible, it says that marriage between a man and a woman is representative of God's relationship with his church. The groom is Jesus. The bride is the church. What sort of husband or groom is the man that does not live with his wife? He leaves her a book telling her how he wants her to live, and every now and then she gets a card from him, but other than that never sees him again. What a terrible husband! Yet this is how I feel right now in relation to God. I feel as though he has left me only a book. Every now and then I get a card from him, that is a word or an answer to prayer. This is stupid. It is pointless and a worthless pursuit of morals. I can never be perfect by Christianity or ever hope to attain perfection. And if not that, then why can't I see, hear, touch, taste or God? I want a relationship with God, in likeness to the relationship that a loving husband and wife share. This is what Christianity preaches, and if I am to continue to be a follower this is what I must have.

I must have God himself. I cannot resist God. I cannot hide from him, outsmart him or out think him. He will always come out on top, in front and first. If so, then God will find me. He will meet me. He will touch me and speak to me. I wait for this day. I hope that he comes to me before I am dead.